Siman 193 — The Blood of the First Union (Dam Betulim): Separating, the Hefsek and Seven Days, and the Harchakot
סימן קצ״ג · דעת הרב והלכה למעשה
דין דם בתולים ובעילת מצוה — פורש מיד וסופר משבעה
שיטת הצמח צדק וחב״ד · פסק הבית יוסף והרמ״א · נושאי הכלים והפוסקים בזמננו · הדרכת הרב, חתן-רב ומורת כלה
🕯️ דעת הרב · פסק הלכה ולמעשה 🕯️
✦ ❖ ✦
Daat HaRav (Chabad) & Halacha lema'asse
The shitah of the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch and Chabad on the דם בתולים and the בעילת מצוה,
then the halacha lema'asse of the nossei kelim and contemporary poskim — and always, these dinim are lived under the guidance of a Rav, a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah
Subject:
שולחן ערוך יורה דעה סימן קצ״ג (סעיף אחד)
דין דם בתולים ובעילת מצוה : הבועל בתולה גומר ביאתו ופורש מיד וטמאה אף בלא ראתה דם, קולות הרמ״א (הערה / לא ראתה דם) מול רוב הפוסקים ובעל נפש, הפסק טהרה ובדיקת כל שבעה, ומניין מיום ה' לשימושה, ודיני נדה להרחקה עם קולת המיטה
Register (a kallah matter, of טהרת המשפחה):
The siman touches the most intimate point of the couple's first union ; we set it out
with delicacy, sobriety and modesty. The separation, the הפסק טהרה,
the seven bedikot, the count and the harchakot are lived with the guidance
of a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah, and one never decides a personal case alone.
Every practical conclusion refers to your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), a chatan-Rav AND a moret kallah.
Written and studied by:
הרב יוסף חיים סממה · DAAT
How to read this level. Siman 193 deals with a precious and delicate moment: the couple's first union (בעילת מצוה). The Mehaber's fundamental rule: one who marries a בתולה performs the בעילת מצוה, completes his act and separates at once (פורש מיד) — even if she is a קטנה who has not reached the age of seeing and has not seen, and even if she examined herself and found no blood: she is טמאה, for she may have seen a drop of blood « כחרדל » that the שכבת זרע has covered. The siman has one seif (סעיף אחד), very dense ; it can be unfolded into five rules: (1) the בעילת מצוה renders her נדה (דם בתולים) and one separates at once ; (2) the leniencies of the Rama (יש מקילין if she saw no blood ; the custom to be lenient if the act was only הערה without blood) against most poskim — for whom a real union requires separating even without blood seen — and the בעל נפש who guards against it ; (3) the הפסק טהרה and the seven bedikot ; (4) the count that begins only on the 5th day of the union (יום ה' לשימושה) ; (5) the harchakot of the נדה, with a leniency regarding the bed. This level has two parts. (1) Daat HaRav — the shitah of Chabad: here there is a genuine Chabad halachic tradition, whose authority of reference in Nidah is the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch. (2) Halacha lema'asse: the general pesak (Beit Yossef, Rama, Shach, Taz, Sidrei Tahara, Chochmat Adam, Aruch haShulchan) and contemporary pesak (Taharat haBayit, Shevet haLevi, Badei haShulchan ; Nitei Gavriel for the chatuna customs). We cite only real and attested positions ; where a specific Chabad pesak or custom is not established with certainty, we indicate it at the level of principle — without ever inventing a responsum, a number or a custom. The practical consequence of this siman is clear: all these dinim are lived concretely on the wedding night and the days that follow ; so every conclusion (lema'asse) ends by referring you to your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), to a chatan-Ravand to a moret kallah — never a solitary application.
📑 תוכן העניינים
שורש הסימן — דם בתולים וטומאת הכלה (סעיף אחד)
פסק המחבר והרמ״א — מסגרת הסימן בחמש הלכות
שיטת הצמח צדק וחב״ד — דעת הרב בדם בתולים
בעילת מצוה ופורש מיד — טמאה אף בלא ראתה דם
קולות הרמ״א ובעל נפש — הערה / לא ראתה דם מול רוב הפוסקים
1. The בעילת מצוה renders her נדה, and one separates at once. One who marries a בתולה performs the בעילת מצוה: he completes his act and separates at once (פורש מיד) — even if she is a קטנה who has not reached the age of seeing and has not seen, and even if she examined herself and found no blood: she is טמאה, for she may have seen a drop of blood « כחרדל » (like a mustard seed) that the שכבת זרע has covered.
2. Leniencies (Rama), bedikot, count and harchakot.Rama: some are lenient (יש מקילין) if she saw no blood ; the custom is to be lenient if the act was only הערה without blood seen. But a real union requires separating even without blood seen (Tour and Beit Yossef in the name of most poskim), and the בעל נפש (the scrupulous one) guards against it for himself. She must do a הפסק טהרה and examine herself the seven days, and begins counting only on the 5th day of the union (יום ה' לשימושה) ; he observes with her all the דיני נדה as to the harchakot, except that a full נדה forbids him to sleep on her bed even when she is not in it, whereas here he is permitted to sleep in that same bed after she has risen.
1. שורש הסימן — the דם בתולים and the kallah's טומאה
The foundation. The whole siman rests on the status of the דם בתולים — the blood of the first union. The halacha treats it as a blood that renders her נדה: thus, once the בעילת מצוה is complete, the husband separates at once (פורש מיד), and the wife is טמאה. The delicate point is that she is טמאה even if she examined herself and found no blood: the concern is that she saw a minute drop of blood (טיפת דם כחרדל) that the שכבת זרע has covered, so that the בדיקה did not reveal it. Caution prevails here, because we are at the heart of a נדה prohibition.
Why separate at once (פורש מיד). The ט״ז clarifies the Mehaber's words « וגומר ביאתו »: one completes the union and then withdraws « באבר חי » — that is, without delay, even if she were seeing blood at that moment. The logic: once the דם בתולים may have appeared, prolonging the union would be uniting with a נדה ; so the halacha requires an immediate withdrawal. The relation to the נטמאתי (the case where the woman declares herself נדה during the union, sim. 185) is discussed by the nossei kelim: here separation is required from the outset, since the blood of the בעילת מצוה is expected. Applying these details to a real case is precisely the object of the guidance of a chatan-Rav.
2. פסק המחבר והרמ״א — the map of the siman (סעיף אחד)
Siman 193 has one seif, yet a dense one. Here is the map faithful to the text: the Mehaber sets the טומאה and the immediate separation (1), the Rama adds the leniencies and the בעל נפש (2), then the text chains the הפסק טהרה and the seven bedikot (3), the count from the 5th day (4) and the harchakot with the leniency of the bed (5).
Rule
Case
Pesak (anchored in the text)
1
בעילת מצוה → טמאה, פורש מיד
One who marries a בתולה performs the בעילת מצוה, completes and separates at once ; she is טמאה even without blood seen (perhaps a טיפה כחרדל covered by the שכבת זרע) — even a קטנה who has not seen. (Taz: וגומר ביאתו = withdrawal באבר חי.)
2
Leniencies (Rama) & בעל נפש
Rama: יש מקילין if she saw no blood ; custom to be lenient if the act was only הערה without blood. But a real union → separate even without blood seen (Tour, Beit Yossef in the name of most poskim) ; the בעל נפש יחוש לעצמו.
3
הפסק טהרה & seven bedikot
She does a הפסק טהרה and examines herself the seven days.
4
Count from the 5th day
She begins counting only on the 5th day of her union (יום ה' לשימושה). (Taz in the name of the Maharal of Prague: after the first union one counts from the 5th, unlike the ordinary נדה — sim. 196.)
5
Harchakot & leniency of the bed
He observes with her all the דיני נדה as to the harchakot ; except that a full נדה forbids sleeping on her bed even in her absence, whereas here he is permitted to sleep in that same bed after she has risen.
3. שיטת הצמח צדק וחב״ד — Daat HaRav on the דם בתולים
Method note (important). This part presents the halachic approach of Chabad on Nidah and, here, on the דם בתולים and the בעילת מצוה. Unlike kashrut, there is a genuine Chabad pesak tradition, whose authority of reference in Nidah is the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch. We set it out at the level of principle ; we ascribe to the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch and to no Rebbe any specific pesak, responsum number or wedding custom that we could not verify. For the detail of a case — the immediate separation, the הפסק טהרה, the seven bedikot, the count, the harchakot — the Chabad practice is to turn to a Chabad Rav or a Dayan, and for the couple's preparation, to a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah: one does not apply alone.
The Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch — Chabad's halachic authority of reference on Nidah
The Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch — Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn (1789-1866), third Rebbe of Lubavitch and grandson of the Admour HaZaken — is the poseq of reference of Chabad, particularly in טהרת המשפחה. His collection of responsa and pisqé dinim (the שו״ת צמח צדק) covers Yoreh De'ah and the laws of Nidah extensively, and it is to him that the Chabad tradition turns first for these questions. At the level of principle, the Chabad school joins a great rigor in טהרת המשפחה with a particular care for the preparation of the couple and the conduct of the first night. Now our siman touches exactly this ground: the status of the דם בתולים, the immediate separation (פורש מיד), the count and the harchakot — all moments where the Chabad mesorah accompanies the couple with seriousness and modesty.
Daat HaRav and the heart of the siman. On the very foundation of this siman — the טומאה arising from the דם בתולים and the פורש מיד, the הפסק טהרה and the seven bedikot, the count from the 5th day and the harchakot — the Chabad approach does not depart from the framework of the Choulhan Aroukh and the Rama, and the Chabad mesorah is known for its rigor in טהרת המשפחה. Its specificity shows in the care given to the couple's preparation and in the systematic referral to the Rav, the chatan-Rav and the moret kallah. We ascribe to it no specific ruling on the Rama's leniencies (הערה / no blood) that is not attested: for actual practice, one follows the instruction of a Chabad Rav.
Lema'asse (Daat HaRav). According to the Chabad tradition, in these matters one follows the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch and the pisqé dinim transmitted in Chabad, with the school's rigor in טהרת המשפחה. For the application of a real case — the immediate separation, whether or not to rely on the Rama's leniencies, the count, the harchakot — consult your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), a chatan-Rav AND a moret kallah: this level sets out the principle, it does not decide your situation, and one never applies these dinim alone.
4. בעילת מצוה ופורש מיד — the first union and the withdrawal
טמאה even without blood seen: the kallah is נדה by virtue of the דם בתולים, even if the בדיקה found nothing — the טיפה כחרדל may have been covered by the שכבת זרע.
Even a קטנה: the din holds even if she has not reached the age of seeing and has not seen — the expected blood is that of the first union, not a blood of age.
פורש מיד (Taz: באבר חי): one completes the union and then withdraws without delay — for prolonging it would be uniting with a נדה.
דם בתולים — נדה blood or דם מכה? The underlying question, discussed by the nossei kelim, is the nature of the דם בתולים: should it be held a blood of נדה, or a blood of a « wound » (דם מכה) caused by the union? The halacha rules by stringency: the kallah is treated as נדה even without blood seen, because the concern of a טיפה כחרדל covered by the שכבת זרע is not removed by a single בדיקה. Unlike other situations where one might be more lenient toward a blood of a wound, here caution prevails, given the gravity of the נדה prohibition at the threshold of married life.
Lema'asse (the immediate separation). The principle: after the בעילת מצוה one separates at once (פורש מיד) and the kallah is נדה (דם בתולים), even without blood seen. But the way to live this moment, and the conduct that follows, are learned beforehand. Consult your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), a chatan-Rav AND a moret kallah — who prepare the couple ; one does not apply alone.
5. קולות הרמ״א ובעל נפש — the leniencies and the scrupulous one
— שולחן ערוך יו״ד קצ״ג:א (הגה) · הגהות מיימוני בשם «איכא מ״ד» ; טור וב״י בשם רוב הפוסקים
The מחלוקת of the Rama and of most poskim
יש מקילין (Rama, in the name of the Hagahot Maïmoni): some are lenient if she saw no blood ; and the reported custom is to be lenient if the act was only הערה (the beginning of a union) without blood seen.
רוב הפוסקים (Tour, Beit Yossef): but a real union (ביאה ממש) requires separating even without blood seen — the concern of the דם בתולים remains.
ובעל נפש יחוש לעצמו: the scrupulous one guards against it for himself and does not rely on the leniencies, even where the letter would permit them.
The stakes of the leniencies. The Rama distinguishes whether the union was completed or only begun (הערה), and whether or not blood was seen. Where there was only הערה without blood seen, the custom he reports is lenient. But most poskim (followed by the Tour and the Beit Yossef) maintain that, once there has been a real union, the kallah is נדה even without blood seen — for the טיפה כחרדל may have escaped perception. This is why the Rama concludes that בעל נפש יחוש לעצמו: whether or not to apply a leniency, in a precise case, is not a personal choice but a Rav's instruction, weighing the exact situation.
Lema'asse (the leniencies). The principle: the Rama reports leniencies (הערה, no blood seen), but most poskim are strict once there has been a real union, and the בעל נפש guards against it. Knowing whether one may rely on a leniency, in a precise case, is never decided alone. Consult your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan) and a chatan-Rav — these leniencies apply only on a Rav's instruction.
6. הפסק טהרה ושבעה — the hefsek and the seven bedikot
The הפסק טהרה and the examination of the seven days
הפסק טהרה: like any נדה, the kallah must do a cessation examination (הפסק טהרה) before beginning her clean days.
בדיקת כל שבעה: she examines herself during the seven days — per the modalities of the bedikot of the seven clean days (cf. sim. 196).
A learning: how to do the הפסק and the בדיקות is learned with a moret kallah, under the authority of a Rav.
The place of the הפסק טהרה here. The דם בתולים renders the kallah נדה like an established נדה ; so the return to טהרה follows the ordinary path: a הפסק טהרה, then the בדיקת כל שבעה and, at the end, the טבילה. The specificity of our siman is not in the principle of the bedikot — common to every נדה — but in the day on which the count begins (the next rule) and in the leniency of the harchakot regarding the bed. The Sidrei Tahara, the Chochmat Adam and the Aruch haShulchan develop the conduct of the בדיקות ; learning and carrying them out belongs to the guidance of a moret kallah.
Lema'asse (the hefsek and the bedikot). The principle: the kallah does a הפסק טהרה and examines herself the seven days, like any נדה. But the concrete way to do the הפסק and the בדיקות is not improvised. Consult a moret kallah (for the guidance) AND your Rav / a chatan-Rav (for the din) ; one does not apply alone.
7. מניין מיום ה' — counting from the 5th day (Maharal)
וְלֹא תַתְחִיל לִמְנוֹת עַד יוֹם ה' לְשִׁמּוּשָׁהּ.
The rule: after the first union, the kallah begins counting only on the 5th day of her union (יום ה' לשימושה).
The Taz in the name of the Maharal of Prague: although nowadays the ordinary נדה begins counting on the 6th day (sim. 196), after the first union one begins from the 5th — halacha lema'asse.
The exact reckoning: what « the 5th day of her union » means in a real calendar is settled with the Rav.
The 5th day vs the 6th of the ordinary נדה. Nowadays, the ordinary נדה defers the start of its count (for fear of residual blood) ; sim. 196 fixes this deferral. The ט״ז, in the name of the מהר״ל מפראג, rules that for the בעילת מצוה the count begins earlier — from the 5th day of the union — because the nature of the דם בתולים, expected and localized to the first union, does not call for the same deferral as an ordinary נדה blood. This is a point of halacha lema'asse specific to this siman, distinguishing it from sim. 196.
Lema'asse (the count). The principle: after the first union, one begins counting from the 5th day of the union (יום ה' לשימושה), unlike the 6th day of the ordinary נדה (sim. 196). But fixing this day in a real calendar requires precision. Consult your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan) and a chatan-Rav ; one does not fix the count alone.
8. הרחקות וקולת המיטה — the harchakot and the leniency of the bed
All the דיני נדה (harchakot): during this first נדה, the husband observes with her all the harchakot of the נדה (cf. sim. 195).
The stringency of the full נדה: toward a full נדה, he is forbidden to sleep on her bed even when she is not in it.
The leniency here:whereas here, he is permitted to sleep in that same bed after she has risen — a leniency specific to the case of the דם בתולים.
Why the bed is less stringent here. The basis of the leniency lies in the nature of the blood in question: the דם בתולים is a blood tied to the first union, expected and limited, unlike the blood of a נדה גמורה (an ordinary flow). So the halacha maintains all the harchakot for the rest, but is lenient on this precise point: the husband may sleep in this bed after she has risen. Like the whole siman, the exact scope of this leniency, and the conduct of the harchakot during these days, are settled with a Rav and a chatan-Rav — it is not a general license.
Lema'asse (the harchakot). The principle: during this first נדה, one observes all the harchakot, with a leniency regarding the bed (sleeping in this bed after she has risen). But the application of the harchakot and the scope of this leniency are lived under guidance. Consult your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), a chatan-Rav AND a moret kallah ; one does not decide alone.
9. הדרכת חתן-רב ומורת כלה — a kallah matter, to be conducted with delicacy
The dinim of the first union are lived, they are not studied alone
What the siman treats — the couple's first union — is not an abstract matter: it is the most intimate threshold of married life. The immediate separation (פורש מיד), the status of נדה (דם בתולים), the הפסק טהרה, the seven bedikot, the count from the 5th day and the harchakot — all of this is learned and accompanied, in Israel and in the communities, with a chatan-Rav (who prepares the groom) and a moret kallah (who prepares the bride), under the authority of a Rav. It is approached with delicacy, modesty and sobriety. This level sets out the principles of the din ; it replaces neither the preparation of a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah, nor the decision of a Rav. No couple has to bear these questions alone.
The siman's case
Practical conduct
Whom to ask
פורש מיד & טמאה (the first union)
The immediate separation, understanding the נדה status
Chatan-Rav (the groom) + moret kallah (the bride) + Rav (the din)
קולות הרמ״א (הערה / no blood)
Apply a leniency only on instruction
Rav (may one rely?) + chatan-Rav
הפסק טהרה & the seven bedikot
Learn the הפסק and the בדיקות, the count from the 5th day
Moret kallah (the guidance) + Rav
הרחקות & leniency of the bed
Observe the harchakot ; scope of the leniency
Rav (the din) + chatan-Rav + moret kallah
Halacha and guidance, two necessities. Contemporary pesak (Nitei Gavriel on the chatuna customs, Badei haShulchan) stresses this point: the dinim of the first union pose two requirements that must not be confused. The first is halachic — must one separate even without blood seen, may one rely on a leniency, when does the count begin? It is asked of the Rav and the chatan-Rav. The second is guidance — how to live these days with serenity and modesty, how to do the הפסק and the בדיקות? It belongs to the chatan-Rav and the moret kallah. The two nourish each other: the chatan-Rav and the moret kallah prepare and reassure ; the Rav decides the din. Neither replaces the other, and the couple never decides alone.
Lema'asse (the guidance). Every preparation for marriage requires two parallel steps, never one without the other: a guidance by a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah (who teach the conduct of the first union, the הפסק, the בדיקות and the harchakot) and the question of din to your Rav (for the separation, the leniencies, the count). Consult your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), a chatan-Rav AND a moret kallah. Never a solitary application.
10. פסיקת זמננו וסיכום מעשי — contemporary pesak and the recap
Method note. The works cited below extend the principles of siman 193 for today's practice. They are cited as recognized streams of pesak, to be confirmed with a Rav before any application — and the couple's guidance always passes through a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah. The Pitchei Teshuva is absent from Sefaria for this siman ; we do not invoke it and rely on the Taz, the Rama, the Sidrei Tahara, the Chochmat Adam and the Aruch haShulchan.
Contemporary pesak begins, for the Sephardim, with the Beit Yossef and the Shach: the practical reference is the Taharat haBayit of Rav Ovadia Yossef (and its abridgment Yalkout Yossef — Taharat haBayit), which treats the בעילת מצוה and the דם בתולים — the טומאה, the separation, the count. For the Ashkenazim, it begins with the Rama, the Shach and the Taz (developed here on the פורש מיד and the מניין מיום ה' in the name of the Maharal of Prague), then the great commentary specific to Nidah, the Sidrei Tahara, and the codifiers: the Chochmat Adam (and its Binat Adam) and the Aruch haShulchan (Yoreh De'ah). For the 20th century, the major practical reference is the Shevet haLevi of Rav Shmuel Wozner, often accompanied by the Badei haShulchan (the reference commentary on Hilkhot Nidah) ; and the Nitei Gavriel (Hilkhot Nesouin) details the chatuna customs tied to the first night. All stress the recourse to a מורה הוראה, a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah.
Point of the siman
Contemporary orientation (to verify)
בעילת מצוה / פורש מיד
The immediate separation, the kallah נדה (דם בתולים) even without blood seen → Taharat haBayit / Taz ; to the chatan-Rav and the Rav for the din.
קולות הרמ״א / בעל נפש
The leniencies (הערה / no blood) against most poskim → the Rav's decision ; the בעל נפש guards against it.
הפסק / שבעה / מניין מיום ה'
הפסק טהרה, seven bedikot, count from the 5th day (Maharal) → Sidrei Tahara, Aruch haShulchan ; moret kallah + Rav.
הרחקות / קולת המיטה
The harchakot with the leniency of the bed → Shevet haLevi, Badei haShulchan ; Rav + chatan-Rav.
Chabad within the pesak
For Chabad practice on this foundation, one refers to the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch (whose שו״ת covers the הלכות נדה) and to the decisions transmitted in Chabad, with the care proper to the school — rigor in טהרת המשפחה joined to the attentive guidance of the couple. We ascribe no specific pesak or custom that is not verifiable ; for the detail of a case and the preparation for marriage, one turns to a Chabad Rav or a Dayan, a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah.
טבלה — the axes of the siman, in practice
Notion
In substance
Reference
בעילת מצוה / פורש מיד
One completes the union and separates at once ; טמאה (דם בתולים) even without blood seen
Mehaber (193:1)
קולות הרמ״א / בעל נפש
יש מקילין (הערה, no blood) vs a real union → פרישה ; the scrupulous one guards against it
Rama ; Tour, Beit Yossef (193:1)
הפסק טהרה / שבעה
הפסק טהרה and בדיקת כל שבעה, like any נדה
Mehaber (193:1)
מניין מיום ה'
One counts from the 5th day of the union (vs the 6th of the ordinary נדה)
Taz, Maharal of Prague (193:1 ; cf. 196)
הרחקות / קולת המיטה
All the harchakot, but he may sleep in this bed after she has risen
Mehaber (193:1 ; cf. 195)
טבלה — who says what (the siman's nossei kelim)
Posek
Decisive contribution (corpus-anchored)
Mehaber
The בעילת מצוה: one completes and separates at once (פורש מיד) ; the kallah is טמאה (דם בתולים) even without blood seen ; the הפסק טהרה, the seven bedikot, the count from the 5th day, and the harchakot with the leniency of the bed.
Rama (הגה)
The leniencies (יש מקילין if no blood ; custom to be lenient if הערה without blood) ; but a real union → פרישה (Tour, Beit Yossef, most poskim) ; ובעל נפש יחוש לעצמו.
Taz
« וגומר ביאתו » = withdrawal באבר חי (sk1) ; the וחיפהו שכבת זרע (sk3) ; the מניין מיום ה' in the name of the מהר״ל מפראג (sk4).
Shach (Siftei Kohen)
On the principles of the דם בתולים and the separation (to be completed by Sidrei Tahara / Chochmat Adam, major references on Nidah).
טבלה — Daat HaRav and contemporary streams (to verify)
Chabad (Daat HaRav): the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch (Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn, 3rd Rebbe of Lubavitch, 1789-1866) is Chabad's poseq of reference on Nidah ; his שו״ת covers the הלכות נדה. The Chabad school joins rigor in טהרת המשפחה and care for the couple. For the detail of a case and the preparation for marriage → Chabad Rav / Dayan, chatan-Rav and moret kallah. (No specific pesak or custom is ascribed here without a source.)
Sephardim: Taharat haBayit (Rav Ovadia Yossef) ; Yalkout Yossef — Taharat haBayit (Rav Yitzhak Yossef). They extend the Beit Yossef and the Shach: the בעילת מצוה, the separation, the count, and the recourse to a Rav, a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah.
Ashkenazim: Taz (on the פורש מיד and the מניין מיום ה') ; Sidrei Tahara (the key commentary on Nidah) ; Chochmat Adam / Binat Adam ; Aruch haShulchan (YD) ; Shevet haLevi (Rav Wozner) ; Badei haShulchan ; and Nitei Gavriel for the chatuna customs. One brings these dinim to a מורה הוראה, a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah.
On the substance, keep the axes: after the בעילת מצוה one separates at once (פורש מיד) and the kallah is נדה (דם בתולים) even without blood seen ; the Rama reports leniencies (הערה / no blood) against most poskim, and the בעל נפש guards against it ; she does a הפסק טהרה and the seven bedikot ; she counts from the 5th day of the union (Maharal of Prague, unlike the 6th of the ordinary נדה) ; and one observes all the harchakot, with the leniency of the bed.
Daat HaRav (Chabad): one follows the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch and the pisqé dinim of Chabad, with the school's care (rigor in טהרת המשפחה joined to the couple's guidance) ; every real case is lived with a Chabad Rav / Dayan, a chatan-Rav and a moret kallah.
Halacha lema'asse: Beit Yossef, Rama, Shach, Taz, Sidrei Tahara, Chochmat Adam, Aruch haShulchan, and contemporary pesak (Taharat haBayit, Shevet haLevi, Badei haShulchan ; Nitei Gavriel for the chatuna customs) — all on these same axes.
The golden rule of this siman: the dinim of the first union are lived, they are not decided alone. The chatan-Rav and the moret kallah prepare and accompany (the conduct of the union, the הפסק, the בדיקות, the harchakot) ; the Rav decides the din (the separation, the leniencies, the count). For every preparation for marriage and every real case, consult your Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), a chatan-Rav AND a moret kallah ; no couple has to bear these questions alone.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ DAAT · הרב יוסף חיים סממה
תלמיד חכם · מעביר שיעורים בהלכה ובחסידות Daat HaRav and Halacha lema'asse on the law of דם בתולים and בעילת מצוה · Siman קצ״ג · 🕯️ Level 4 — Daat HaRav (Chabad) & Halacha lema'asse
⚠️ This content is for study purposes, on an intimate matter of the couple (טהרת המשפחה). The positions cited (Daat HaRav / Chabad, Sephardi and Ashkenazi streams) are landmarks, not a personal pesak. The dinim of the first union are lived under guidance: for any practical application (לְמַעֲשֶׂה), consult a qualified Rav (or a Chabad Rav / Dayan), a chatan-Rav AND a moret kallah.