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DAAT · LEVEL 1 — INTRODUCTION

Siman ג׳ · Conduct in the restroom

Hanhagat Beit ha-Kissé — dignity in the humblest place
סימן ג׳ · י״ז סעיפים
הנהגת בית הכסא
🌱 Introductory level · Beginners
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A first approach to the 17 seifim: vocalized Hebrew text, clear English translation, pedagogical explanations on tzniut, cleanliness and the respect of the body — in a sober and modest register, with a section of practical cases.

Topic: Dignified and modest conduct in the place of relief
Source: שולחן ערוך אורח חיים סימן ג' · י״ז סעיפים

Compiled by: Rav Yossef Haim Samama
DAAT · daattorah.com

This siman deals with an intimate subject. The Shulchan Aroukh treats it with great modesty, because there is a kedushah to preserve even in the humblest place. We follow the same register here: dignified, sober, at the level of the principle. For the delicate details, we refer to the ruling of the Rav.

📑 Study outline

1. « התכבדו מכובדים » — an ancient custom, no longer practiced today
2. Modesty in the place of relief — not uncovering, not speaking, closing the door
3. Preparing before sitting — and the health of the body
4. The measure of uncovering — no more than necessary
5–8. Orientation and distance — in the field, facing the Mikdash
9. Not forcing one's body — health and measure
10–11. The hand and cleanliness — not wiping with the right
12–13. Modesty at night · urination — at the level of principle
14–16. The kedushah of the berit — in principle, referred to the Rav
17. בל תשקצו — not holding back one's needs
+ Practical cases and comprehension questions

1. « התכבדו מכובדים » — an ancient custom

Original text (Seif 1)

הַנְהָגַת בֵּית הַכִּסֵּא. כְּשֶׁיִּכָּנֵס לְבֵית הַכִּסֵּא יֹאמַר: הִתְכַּבְּדוּ מְכֻבָּדִים וְכוּ'. וְעַכְשָׁו לֹא נָהֲגוּ לְאָמְרוֹ.

English translation

The conduct in the restroom. When he enters the place of relief, he would say: « Be honored, O honored ones… » (a phrase addressed to the angels who accompany a person). But today, the custom is no longer to say it.
הִתְכַּבְּדוּ מְכֻבָּדִים — « be honored, O honored ones »: a word a person once addressed to the angels accompanying him, asking them to wait aside out of respect while he attends to his needs. The Shulchan Aroukh notes that nowadays this phrase is no longer said.
The central idea: from the very entrance, the siman sets the tone — even in this place, a person retains the awareness that he is never alone before Hashem. This is the direct continuation of מְלֹא כָל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדוֹ of the preceding siman: kedushah accompanies him even in the humblest place.

2. Modesty in the place of relief

Original text (Seif 2)

יְהֵא צָנוּעַ בְּבֵית הַכִּסֵּא וְלֹא יְגַלֶּה עַצְמוֹ עַד שֶׁיֵּשֵׁב. הגה: וְלֹא יֵלְכוּ שְׁנֵי אֲנָשִׁים בְּיַחַד, גַּם לֹא יְדַבֵּר שָׁם, וְיִסְגֹּר הַדֶּלֶת בַּעֲדוֹ מִשּׁוּם צְנִיעוּת (אור זרוע).
Let him be modest in the place of relief and not uncover himself until he is seated. Hagahah of the Rema: and two persons should not go together, he should not speak there, and he should close the door behind him, out of modesty [Or Zarua].
The yesod of the siman: tzniut is not limited to « lofty » moments. Precisely in the humblest place, a person preserves his dignity: he uncovers himself only as much as necessary, does not chatter there, and closes the door. True modesty accompanies a person everywhere.
Four conducts of modesty (Rema, Or Zarua):

3. Preparing before sitting

Original text (Seif 3)

אִם רוֹצֶה לְמַשְׁמֵשׁ בְּפִי הַטַּבַּעַת בִּצְרוֹר אוֹ בְּקֵיסָם לִפְתֹּחַ נְקָבָיו, יְמַשְׁמֵשׁ קֹדֶם שֶׁיֵּשֵׁב, וְלֹא יְמַשְׁמֵשׁ אַחַר שֶׁיֵּשֵׁב, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁקָּשֶׁה לִכְשָׁפִים.
If he wishes to prepare the body to ease his needs, let him do so before sitting and not after sitting, for it is harmful (the Gemara sees in it an exposure to כשפים, sorcery).
Practical wisdom: the siman also cares for the body. Here the Torah teaches a prudent conduct, blending dignity and care — a theme that will recur several times (seifim 9, 11, 13).

4. The measure of uncovering

Original text (Seif 4)

לֹא יְגַלֶּה עַצְמוֹ כִּי אִם מִלְּאַחֲרָיו טֶפַח וּמִלְּפָנָיו טְפָחַיִם, וְאִשָּׁה מֵאַחֲרֶיהָ טֶפַח וּמִלְּפָנֶיהָ וְלֹא כְלוּם.
Let him uncover himself only as much as necessary: a tefach behind and two tefachim in front; and a woman, a tefach behind and nothing in front.
טֶפַח (tefach) — a measure (the width of a palm, ≈ 8 cm). The halakha sets the uncovering at the minimum required: one never uncovers more than necessary. This is the concrete application of the tzniut of Seif 2.
The principle: even where some uncovering is unavoidable, it remains measured. Modesty does not vanish — it shrinks to the strict necessary, and not an inch more.

5–8. Orientation and distance

Original text (Seifim 5–8)

[ה] אִם נִפְנֶה בְּמָקוֹם מְגֻלֶּה שֶׁאֵין בּוֹ מְחִצּוֹת, יְכַוֵּן שֶׁיִּהְיוּ פָּנָיו לְדָרוֹם וַאֲחוֹרָיו לְצָפוֹן אוֹ אִיפְּכָא, אֲבָל בֵּין מִזְרָח לְמַעֲרָב אָסוּר. הגה: וּלְהָטִיל מַיִם בְּכָל עִנְיָן שָׁרֵי (ב"י בשם הרמב"ם). [ז] הַמֵּטִיל מַיִם מִן הַצּוֹפִים וְלִפְנִים לֹא יֵשֵׁב וּפָנָיו כְּלַפֵּי הַקֹּדֶשׁ. [ח] כְּשֶׁנִּפְנֶה בַּשָּׂדֶה... בַּבִּקְעָה יִתְרַחֵק עַד מָקוֹם שֶׁלֹּא יוּכַל חֲבֵרוֹ לִרְאוֹת פֵּרוּעוֹ.
(Seif 5) In an open place without partitions, let him orient himself facing south, back to the north, or the reverse — but an east–west orientation is to be avoided; urinating is permitted in any case [Beit Yossef in the name of the Rambam]. (Seif 6) Likewise, one takes care not to sleep oriented east–west [when his wife is with him]. (Seif 7) Near Jerusalem (« the Tzofim », from where one can still see the Temple Mount), let him not sit facing the Mikdash. (Seif 8) In the field, let him move away until his fellow can no longer see him.
הַצּוֹפִים (ha-Tzofim) — the place around Jerusalem from which one can still glimpse the Har ha-Bayit (the Temple Mount). Out of regard for the holiness of the Mikdash, one takes care with one's orientation.
The common thread: whether in the open field or near the holy place, conduct remains imbued with respect — for the Divine Presence (orientation), for the Mikdash, and for others (moving away from sight).

9. Not forcing one's body

Original text (Seif 9)

לֹא יֵשֵׁב בִּמְהֵרָה וּבְחֹזֶק, וְלֹא יֶאֱנֹס לִדְחֹק עַצְמוֹ יוֹתֵר מִדַּאי, שֶׁלֹּא יְנַתֵּק שִׁנֵּי הַכַּרְכַּשְׁתָּא.
Let him not sit down hastily or forcefully, and let him not strain himself overly much — so as not to harm his body (the internal tissues).
The body, instrument of avodah: the Torah looks after one's health. This theme — not doing violence to oneself, preserving one's body — joins the end of the siman (seif 17, בל תשקצו): the body is entrusted to a person, and he cares for it.

10–11. The hand and cleanliness

Original text (Seifim 10–11)

[י] לֹא יְקַנַּח בְּיַד יָמִין. [יא] ... הגה: וְעַכְשָׁו שֶׁבָּתֵּי כִסְאוֹת שֶׁלָּנוּ אֵינָן בַּשָּׂדֶה, נָהֲגוּ לְקַנֵּחַ בְּדָבָר ... וְאֵינוֹ מַזִּיק, וּפוּק חֲזִי מַאי עַמָּא דְּבַר (חדושי אגודה).
(Seif 10) Let him not wipe with the right hand. (Seif 11) The Shulchan Aroukh details with what to wipe, out of concern for health. Hagahah of the Rema: nowadays that our restrooms are no longer in the field, the custom has settled on what is convenient and harmless — « פוק חזי מאי עמא דבר », go see what the custom is [Chidushei Aguda].
Why not the right hand? The right (יָמִין) retains a precedence of honor: it is the hand that binds the tefillin (on the left arm), that serves for mitzvot. One does not reserve this use for it. This is the same chashivut ha-yamin as in the preceding siman (the order of the shoes).
פוק חזי מאי עמא דבר — « go and see what the people do »: for the practical modalities, which changed with modern restrooms, the Rema refers to established custom. The principle remains (cleanliness, honor of the right); the modalities follow their time.

12–13. Modesty at night · urination

Original text (Seifim 12–13)

[יב] יִפָּנֶה בִּצְנִיעוּת בַּלַּיְלָה כְּמוֹ בַּיּוֹם. [יג] לֹא יַשְׁתִּין מְעוּמָּד מִפְּנֵי נִיצוֹצוֹת הַנִּתָּזִין עַל רַגְלָיו, אִם לֹא שֶׁיַּעֲמֹד בְּמָקוֹם גָּבוֹהַּ אוֹ שֶׁיַּשְׁתִּין לְתוֹךְ עָפָר תָּחוּחַ.
(Seif 12) Let him relieve himself with modesty at night just as by day. (Seif 13) Regarding urination, the Shulchan Aroukh teaches a conduct of cleanliness (avoiding splashes on oneself), unless one stands in a raised place or over loose earth.
Modesty and cleanliness: tzniut is not relaxed at night, hidden from sight (seif 12) — exactly like the מְלֹא כָל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדוֹ. And nekiut, the cleanliness of the body, is a value in itself (seif 13), a dignified preparation to stand before Hashem and for the tefillah.

14–16. The kedushah of the berit

Intimate subject — at the level of principle. Seifim 14 to 16 deal with a delicate matter, touching on the kedushah of the berit (the purity and holiness of the body). We present here only the principle, with fitting modesty; for the concrete conduct, one refers to the ruling of the Rav.

Original text (Seifim 14–16)

[יד] יִזָּהֵר ... מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמּוֹצִיא שִׁכְבַת זֶרַע לְבַטָּלָה, ... וּמִדַּת חֲסִידוּת לִזָּהֵר. [טו] ... מֻתָּר לְסַיֵּעַ בַּבֵּיצִים. [טז] ... אֶלָּא לְהַשְׁתִּין, אֲבָל לְהִתְחַכֵּךְ לֹא.
(Seifim 14–16) The Shulchan Aroukh teaches here a conduct of restraint, founded on the gravity of הוצאת זרע לבטלה (vain emission) and on the kedushah expected of a person. He distinguishes according to the situations, and adds that there is a מדת חסידות, a measure of piety, in being especially vigilant in this.
The principle to retain: these seifim express the great value of kedushat ha-berit — the holiness of the body, guarded even in the humblest place. It is the summit of the siman's tzniut. For the precise practical conduct, one refers to the ruling of the Rav (see also Level 4 — Daat HaRav).

17. בל תשקצו — not holding back

Original text (Seif 17)

הַמַּשְׁהֶה נְקָבָיו עוֹבֵר מִשּׁוּם בַּל תְּשַׁקְּצוּ.
One who holds back his needs transgresses « בל תשקצו » (« do not make yourselves repugnant »).
בַּל תְּשַׁקְּצוּ (bal teshaktzu) — a Torah prohibition against mistreating one's body, here by holding oneself back unduly. The body is entrusted to a person as a deposit; he cares for it, and this too is an avodah.
The closing of the siman: from tzniut (seif 2) to the health of the body (seif 17), everything converges — a person respects his body as the instrument of Divine service. Not holding back is also to honor what Hashem has entrusted to him.

Practical cases

Case 1 — Modesty in the restroom

Situation: one enters the restroom. Is there a conduct of modesty to observe, even when one is alone?
Conduct: close the door behind oneself, do not linger there in conversation, and — a key point today — do not study there or say divrei kodesh (words of Torah, berakhot), nor consult sacred texts on a phone. The tzniut of Seif 2 (Rema, Or Zarua) applies fully: this place remains a place of restraint.

Case 2 — Cleanliness before the tefillah

Situation: one leaves the restroom and prepares to pray or to say a berakhah.
Conduct: attend to nekiut (cleanliness) — washing the hands (linked to siman 92 and netilat yadayim), ensuring the cleanliness of the body. Cleanliness is part of the dignified preparation to stand before Hashem (seifim 11, 13).

Case 3 — בל תשקצו: not holding back

Situation: one feels the need to relieve oneself but defers it out of convenience, embarrassment, or in the middle of study.
Conduct: do not hold back unduly — this is the prohibition of בל תשקצו (seif 17). Respect for the body comes first; one does not mistreat it, even in the name of study or politeness.

Case 4 — The intimate details

Situation: one wonders about the precise conducts of seifim 13 to 16 (urination, bearing, kedushat ha-berit).
Conduct: these intimate matters belong to the principle set out above — tzniut, cleanliness, kedushat ha-berit. For the precise practical conduct, one refers to the ruling of the Rav, and one may delve deeper in Level 4 — Daat HaRav (the Alter Rebbe).

Comprehension questions

Check your understanding:
  1. What did one say in former times upon entering the place of relief (Seif 1), and why is it no longer said?
  2. What are the four conducts of modesty taught in Seif 2 (Rema, Or Zarua)?
  3. What does « uncovering only a tefach / two tefachim » mean (Seif 4)?
  4. Which orientation does one avoid in the open field, and what is the « Tzofim » (Seifim 5, 7)?
  5. Why does one not wipe with the right hand (Seif 10)? What is the connection to the preceding siman?
  6. What does « פוק חזי מאי עמא דבר » mean in the Rema's gloss (Seif 11)?
  7. What is the common yesod of seifim 14 to 16, and to whom does one refer for practice?
  8. What is the prohibition of בל תשקצו (Seif 17)?

To go further

If you want to delve deeper into this siman:
Continue the study — next simanSiman 4 →
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