The בעילת מצוה that renders the kallah נדה (דם בתולים), separating at once (פורש מיד) even without blood seen, the Rama's leniencies and the scruple (בעל נפש), the הפסק טהרה and the seven bedikot, counting from the 5th day of the union, and the harchakot with the leniency of the bed — a topic treated with dignity and modesty (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 193 — 1 seif)
הַנּוֹשֵׂא אֶת הַבְּתוּלָה, בּוֹעֵל בְּעִילַת מִצְוָה וְגוֹמֵר בִּיאָתוֹ וּפוֹרֵשׁ מִיָּד; וַאֲפִלּוּ הִיא קְטַנָּה שֶׁלֹּא הִגִּיעַ זְמַנָּהּ לִרְאוֹת וְלֹא רָאֲתָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ בָּדְקָה עַצְמָהּ וְלֹא מָצְאָה דָּם — טְמֵאָה, שֶׁמָּא רָאֲתָה טִפַּת דָּם כְּחַרְדָּל וְחִפָּהוּ שִׁכְבַת זֶרַע. וְצָרִיךְ שֶׁתַּעֲשֶׂה הֶפְסֵק טָהֳרָה וְתִבְדֹּק כָּל שִׁבְעָה, וְאֵינָהּ מַתְחֶלֶת לִמְנוֹת אֶלָּא מִיּוֹם חֲמִישִׁי לְשִׁמּוּשָׁהּ; וְנוֹהֵג עִמָּהּ בְּכָל דִּינֵי נִדָּה לְעִנְיַן הַרְחָקוֹת.
One who marries a בתולה performs the בעילת מצוה (the wedding union), completes his act and separates at once (פורש מיד); even if she is a קטנה who has not reached the age to see and has not seen, and even if she checked herself and found no blood — she is טמאה, for perhaps she saw a drop כחרדל (like a mustard seed) that the שכבת זרע covered. She must perform a הפסק טהרה and check herself during the seven days, and she begins to count only from the 5th day of her union (מיום חמישי לשימושה); and one observes with her all the דיני נדה regarding the הרחקות.
Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 193:1 (summary of the rules of the seif)LEVEL 01
The single seif vocalized, with a fluent English translation, broken into its rules: the בעילת מצוה that renders her טמאה (דם בתולים), separating at once even without blood seen, the Rama's leniencies, the הפסק טהרה and the seven bedikot, counting from the 5th day, and the harchakot with the leniency of the bed — explained with delicacy and practical cases, under the guidance of a chatan-Rav and a kallah teacher.
📖 StudyLEVEL 02
In-depth pilpul: the status of the דם בתולים (דם נדה or דם מכה) and why she is טמאה even without blood seen (שמא חיפהו שכבת זרע), the וגומר ביאתו ופורש מיד of the Taz (פרישה באבר חי) and its link to נטמאתי (siman 185), the Rama's leniencies (העראה / no blood) facing רוב הפוסקים and the בעל נפש, counting from the 5th day in the name of the Maharal of Prague (vs. the 6th day of the ordinary נדה, siman 196), and the leniency of the bed among the הרחקות. חקירות and נפקא מינות.
📖 StudyLEVEL 03
Comparative tables (completed union or העראה only, blood seen or not, counting from the 5th day vs. the 6th of the ordinary נדה, harchakot with or without the leniency of the bed), golden rules, classic pitfalls (פורש מיד, חיפהו שכבת זרע, the Rama's leniencies) and memorization of the rules of the single seif.
📖 StudyLEVEL 04
The shitah of the Tzemach Tzedek of Lubavitch and the Chabad mesorah on the דם בתולים — at the level of principle, referring for the minhagei chatuna to a Chabad Rav —, then the halacha lema'asse according to the Beit Yossef, the Rama, the Shach, the Taz (in the name of the Maharal of Prague), the Sidrei Tahara, the Chochmat Adam, the Aroukh haShulchan and contemporary pesak (Taharat haBayit, Shevet haLevi, Nitei Gavriel for the minhagei chatuna). Every conclusion refers to the Rav, the chatan-Rav and the kallah teacher.
📖 StudyThe Shulchan Aruch (YD 193:1) teaches that one who marries a בתולה performs the בעילת מצוה (the wedding union), completes his act and separates at once (פורש מיד). The kallah is then טמאה because of the דם בתולים — even if she checked herself and found no blood, for perhaps she saw a drop כחרדל (like a mustard seed) that the שכבת זרע covered. The practical conduct is learned from a chatan-Rav and a kallah teacher (moret kallah).
The kallah, having become נדה through the דם בתולים, performs a הפסק טהרה and checks herself during the seven days (the seven bedikot). A particularity of the בעילת מצוה: she begins to count the seven days only from the 5th day of the union (יום ה' לשימושה) — so rules the Taz in the name of the Maharal of Prague, even though nowadays an ordinary נדה begins to count only on the 6th day (cf. siman 196). The exact schedule (hefsek, counting, tevilah) is set with the kallah teacher and the Rav.
During this first נדה, the couple observes all the דיני נדה regarding the הרחקות (the customary distances). There is, however, a leniency for the bed: whereas an ordinary נדה forbids her husband to sleep on her bed even in her absence, here he is permitted to sleep in that same bed after she has risen from it, even where the blood is — for it is דם בתולים. The detail of the harchakot is learned from a guide (chatan-Rav, kallah teacher).
The Rama cites views that are lenient (יש מקילין) when she saw no blood, and the custom to be lenient if the act was not completed (only העראה) and no blood was seen; but a real union obliges separation even without blood seen (the Tur and most poskim), and the scrupulous person guards himself (ובעל נפש יחוש לעצמו). These leniencies apply only on the express instruction of a Rav; one does not implement them on one's own.