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DAAT · LEVEL 1 — INTRODUCTION

Siman 195 · The Separations During Niddah (הרחקות)

No touching, the table, the bed, and the forbidden services — to discover and understand
יורה דעה · סימן קצ״ה
דְּבָרִים הָאֲסוּרִין בִּזְמַן נִדּוּתָהּ
🌱 Introduction Level · מתחילים
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A first approach to Siman 195: the 17 seifim of the Mehaber and the glosses of the Rama, vocalized Hebrew text and a fluent English translation. As long as a woman has not counted her days and immersed in the mikveh, the couple must observe the הרחקות — concrete "separations": not touching (נגיעה), a marker at the table (היכר), separate beds, the gaze, designated garments, permitted adornment, and the so-called services of affection, which are forbidden. The siman distinguishes two periods — נדה and ליבון — and settles the exceptions of illness. These are practical (lema'asse) rules, to be learned from a Rav or a moret kalla.

Topic: The harchakot — the separations between spouses during niddah
Source: שולחן ערוך יורה דעה סימן קצ״ה

Compilation: הרב יוסף חיים סממה
DAAT · daattorah.com

📑 Study Plan

1. The text of the Mehaber: the 17 seifim, one by one, in the order of the book
2. Context: what the harchakot are, and why this siman
3. The key concepts: הרחקה, נגיעה, היכר, דרך חבה, ליבון…
4. The table of the harchakot: forbidden / permitted, at a glance
5. The Shach and the Taz: who they are, their role in Yoreh De'ah
6. The gloss of the Rama (הגה): the customs and leniencies
7. The two periods: נדה and ליבון (the 7 נקיים)
8. Modern practical cases: daily life, adornment, illness
9. Synthesis and comprehension questions

1. The text of the Mehaber — the 17 seifim

A note on reading. The Hebrew blocks in this section are the text of the Shulchan Arukh itself, seif by seif and in the order of the book, word for word from the source. The translation following each block renders its clauses in the same order, and the glosses of the Rama (הגה) are announced as such.

Siman 195 is one of the most practical of all the laws of niddah. The Mehaber (Rabbi Yossef Karo) lists in it the הרחקות — the "distancings," those everyday acts the couple must refrain from as long as the woman is niddah, that is, as long as she has not counted her days and immersed in the mikveh. These are not abstract prohibitions: they touch the table, the cup, the bed, garments, the small services rendered. The Rama (Rabbi Moshe Isserles) adds his glosses (הגה) for Ashkenazi custom — clarifications and a few leniencies during the days of ליבון. Let us discover the 17 seifim one by one, in the order of the Shulchan Arukh; the thematic grouping into six families is given below (section 2).

Seif 1 — Separate until immersion; no levity, yet יחוד remains permitted

דברים האסורין בזמן נדותה. ובו י"ז סעיפים:
חייב אדם לפרוש מאשתו בימי טומאתה עד שתספור ותטבול (ואפילו שהתה זמן ארוך ולא טבלה) תמיד היא בנדתה עד שתטבול (ב"י בשם פוסקים) ולא ישחוק ולא יקל ראש עמה (אפילו בדברים) (טור וב"י בשם רשב"א מאבות דרבי נתן) שמא ירגיל לעבירה אבל מותר להתייחד עמה דכיון שבא עליה פעם א' תו לא תקיף יצריה (ל' עצמו):
Heading of the siman: The things forbidden during the time of her niddah. And it contains seventeen seifim.
A man is required to separate (לפרוש) from his wife during her days of impurity, until she counts (תספור) and immerses (תטבול). Gloss of the Rama: and even if she has tarried a long time without immersing, she remains niddah until she immerses. The Mehaber continues: and he does not jest nor act with levity (ולא ישחוק ולא יקל ראש) with her — even in words (אפילו בדברים, gloss of the Rama) — lest he grow accustomed to transgression (שמא ירגיל לעבירה). But it is permitted for him to be alone with her (אבל מותר להתייחד עמה): since he has already been with her once, his inclination no longer overpowers him (תו לא תקיף יצריה).
The founding principle: the status of niddah is lifted neither by the passage of time nor by the end of the bleeding, but only by the counting of the days followed by immersion (טבילה) in the mikveh. Until then, the couple "distances" — and this distancing also targets the atmosphere of levity and seduction, down to mere words, lest he grow accustomed to transgression. Yet the seif itself sets a limit to that distancing: יחוד — being alone together — remains permitted, and the Shulchan Arukh gives the reason, תו לא תקיף יצריה — their being accustomed to one another strips the inclination of its grip. Yet the permission is not a blanket one: the seif ties it expressly to the condition it states, דכיון שבא עליה פעם א׳ — since he has already come to her once. It is of such a couple, and of its habit, that the seif speaks.

Seif 2 — Not touching, not passing an object

לא יגע בה אפילו באצבע קטנה ולא יושיט מידו לידה שום דבר ולא יקבלנו מידה שמא יגע בבשרה (וכן על ידי זריקה מידו לידה או להיפך אסור) (ב"ז ס"ס קנ"ד והגהות ש"ד בשם מהר"ם):
He does not touch her, even with the little finger (אפילו באצבע קטנה). He does not hand her anything from his hand to hers and does not receive anything from her hand — lest he touch her flesh. Gloss of the Rama: and likewise by throwing (זריקה), from his hand to hers or the reverse, it is forbidden.
Contact, in the broad sense. The prohibition is not limited to "affectionate" contact: no touch at all, even with the little finger. And the harchaka extends to passing objects from hand to hand — even thrown — because it brings the hands close and may lead to contact. This is the heart of the separations: to create a clear physical distance.

Seif 3 — Eating together: the marker (היכר), and what is left of her food

לא יאכל עמה על השלחן אא"כ יש שום שינוי שיהיה שום דבר מפסיק בין קערה שלו לקערה שלה לחם או קנקן או שיאכל כל אחד במפה שלו: הגה וי"א הא דצריכין הפסק בין קערה שלו לקערה שלה היינו דוקא כשאינן אוכלין בקערה אחת כשהיא טהורה אבל אם אוכלין בקערה אחת כשהיא טהורה סגי אם אוכלת בקערה בפני עצמה וא"צ היכר אחר (הגהות אשירי בשם ר"י והגהות אלפסי) וכן נוהגין י"א שאסור לו לאכול משיורי מאכל שלה (מצא בקונטרס דהלכות נדה) כמו שאסור לשתות משיורי כוס שלה וכמו שיתבאר:
He does not eat with her at the same table unless there is a marker / change (שינוי): some object separating his bowl from hers — bread or a jug (לחם או קנקן) — or that each one eats on his own tablecloth (במפה שלו). Gloss of the Rama: some say that this requirement of something separating his bowl from hers holds only when they do not eat from a single bowl while she is pure; but if they do eat from a single bowl while she is pure, it suffices that she eats from a bowl of her own, and no other היכר is needed — and so is the custom. Some say further that he is forbidden to eat from what is left of her food (משיורי מאכל שלה), just as he is forbidden to drink from what is left of her cup, as will be explained (seif 4).
The היכר — "the marker." They may share the table, but not as usual: a visible sign is needed to remind both of them of the separation. A loaf, a carafe placed between the bowls, distinct tablecloths: the means matters little; the essential is that an object marks the distance and serves as a reminder.

Seif 4 — Not drinking what is left in her cup — and when it is permitted

לא ישתה משיורי כוס ששתתה היא: הגה אם לא שמפסיק אדם אחר ביניהם (טור בשם סמ"ג) או שהורק מכוס זה אל כוס אחר אפילו הוחזר לכוס ראשון (הגהמי"י בשם רא"ם ורוקח סימן שי"ח ומרדכי ואגודה פ"ק דשבת) ואם שתתה והוא אינו יודע ורוצה לשתות מכוס שלה אינה צריכה להגיד לו שלא ישתה (שם) והיא מותרת לשתות מכוס ששתה הוא (ג"ז שם) ואם שתתה מכוס והלכה לה י"א שמותר לו לשתות המותר דמאחר שכבר הלכה אין כאן חבה (בקונטרס הנ"ל):
He does not drink what is left in the cup (משיורי כוס) from which she drank. Gloss of the Rama: unless a third party interposes between them, or the contents were poured off into another cup — even if then poured back into the first. And if she drank without his knowing and he wishes to drink from her cup, she is not obliged to tell him not to drink (אינה צריכה להגיד לו שלא ישתה). And she is permitted to drink from the cup he drank from (והיא מותרת לשתות מכוס ששתה הוא). And if she drank from a cup and then went away, some say he is permitted to drink the remainder — for since she has already gone, there is here no חבה (no mark of affection).

Seif 5 — Not sitting on her bed, nor on a movable bench on which she is seated; travelling for pleasure

לא ישב במטה המיוחדת לה אפילו שלא בפניה: הגה ואסור לישב על ספסל ארוך שמתנדדת ואינה מחוברת לכותל כשאשתו נדה יושבת עליו (מרדכי פ"ק דשבת בשם צפנת פענח בשם רש"י) ויש מתירים כשאדם אחר מפסיק ויושב ביניהם (אגודה פ' התינוקת ות"ה סימן רנ"א) וכן לא ילך עם אשתו בעגלה אחת או בספינה אחת אם הולך רק דרך טיול כגון לגנות ופרדסים וכיוצא בזה אבל אם הולך מעיר לעיר לצרכיו מותר אף על פי שהוא ואשתו הם לבדן ובלבד שישבו בדרך שלא יגעו זה בזה (כל זה בת"ה סימן רנ"א):
He does not sit on the bed reserved for her (במטה המיוחדת לה), even in her absence. Gloss of the Rama: and it is forbidden to sit on a long, movable bench (ספסל ארוך שמתנדדת), not fixed to the wall, while she is seated on it. Some permit if a third party interposes and sits between them. Likewise he does not travel with his wife in one wagon or in one boat (בעגלה אחת או בספינה אחת) if he is going merely for an outing (דרך טיול) — to gardens and orchards (לגנות ופרדסים) and the like. But if he is going from city to city for his needs, it is permitted, even though he and his wife are alone, provided they sit along the way so as not to touch one another.
Why the movable bench? The seif gives no reason — it states the prohibition and stops. The reason lies in the source the Rama cites in the margin, the Mordechai (Shabbat, ch. 1), in the name of the Tzofnat Paaneach in the name of Rashi: a bench not fixed to the wall moves under her, and whoever sits on it feels that movement — that is how the bench connects them. Hence the limit the seif itself sets: not fixed to the wall. A bench made fast, which does not move on her account, is not included.

Seif 6 — Not sleeping in the same bed

לא יישן עמה במטה אפילו כל אחד בבגדו ואין נוגעין זה בזה: הגה ואפילו יש לכל אחד מצע בפני עצמו (ב"י דלא כר' ירוחם) ואפילו אם שוכבים בב' מטות והמטות נוגעות זו בזו אסור (מרדכי פ"ק דשבת בשם הר"מ):
He does not sleep with her in the same bed, even each in his own garment and without touching one another. Gloss of the Rama: and even if each has his own mattress; and even if they lie in two beds that touch one another — it is forbidden.
The separation of the bedding. The prohibition of the bed is strict: being clothed does not suffice, nor distinct mattresses, nor even two adjoining beds. The concrete practice: two separate beds (often set apart by a small gap), each with its own bedding. The exact arrangement is settled with a Rav or a moret kalla.

Seif 7 — Not gazing at her covered places

לא יסתכל אפילו בעקבה ולא במקומות המכוסים שבה: (אבל מותר להסתכל בה במקומות הגלוים אע"פ שנהנה בראייתה) (ב"י בשם הרמב"ם):
He does not gaze (לא יסתכל) at her heel nor at her normally covered places (המקומות המכוסים). Gloss of the Rama: but it is permitted to look at her uncovered places, even though he derives pleasure from seeing her.

Seif 8 — Designating garments for her days of niddah

ראוי לה שתייחד לה בגדים לימי נדותה כדי שיהיו שניהם זוכרים תמיד שהיא נדה:
It is fitting that she set aside garments (תייחד לה בגדים) for her days of niddah, so that both of them will constantly remember that she is niddah.

Seif 9 — Adornment, permitted "with difficulty"

בקושי התירו לה להתקשט בימי נדתה אלא כדי שלא תתגנה על בעלה:
It was only with difficulty (בקושי) that they permitted her to adorn herself (להתקשט) during her days of niddah — and only so as not to become repulsive (שלא תתגנה) to her husband.
An acknowledged tension. Two logics meet here: on one side the designated garments constantly recall the status of niddah (seif 8); on the other, adornment remains permitted (seif 9) to preserve marital love and prevent her becoming "repulsive." The early authorities ruled in favor of adornment — but "with difficulty," that is, with measure.

Seif 10 — Pouring his cup: the היכר of the left hand or the pillow

כל מלאכות שהאשה עושה לבעלה נדה עושה לו חוץ ממזיגת הכוס שאסורה למזוג הכוס (בפניו) (ב"י וכן משמע ממרדכי פ"ק דשבועו' וכ"מ מדברי הפוסקים) ולהניחו לפניו על השלחן אא"כ תעשה שום היכר כגון שתניחנו על השלחן ביד שמאל או תניחנו על הכר או על הכסת אפילו ביד ימינה:
All the tasks a wife does for her husband, the niddah does for him — except pouring the cup (מזיגת הכוס): she is forbidden to pour his cup in his presence (בפניו) and to place it before him on the table, unless she makes a marker (היכר) — for example, placing it on the table with the left hand, or placing it on the pillow or on the bolster (על הכר או על הכסת), and then even with her right hand.

The general principle: she performs for him all the household tasks — except three acts that fall under דרך חבה ("the manner of affection").

Seif 11 — Making his bed in his presence

אסורה להציע מטתו בפניו ודוקא פריסת סדינים והמכסה שהוא דרך חבה אבל הצעת הכרים והכסתות שהוא טורח ואינו דרך חבה שרי ושלא בפניו הכל מותר אפילו הוא יודע שהיא מצעת אותם:
She is forbidden to make his bed in his presence (להציע מטתו בפניו) — specifically spreading the sheets and the cover, which is a matter of affection (דרך חבה). But arranging the pillows and cushions, which is mere labor (טורח) and not affection, is permitted. And in his absence everything is permitted, even if he knows she is making the bed.

Seif 12 — Pouring water for his washing

אסורה ליצוק לו מים לרחוץ פניו ידיו ורגליו אפילו אינה נוגעת בו ואפילו הם מים צוננים:
She is forbidden to pour water for him (ליצוק לו מים) to wash his face, hands and feet — even without touching him, and even cold water (מים צוננים).
The criterion: דרך חבה. The niddah does everything, except acts that express affection: pouring his cup, spreading his bedsheets, pouring the water for his washing. By contrast, what is mere labor (arranging the cushions) remains permitted, and everything becomes permitted in his absence. The היכר named by seif 10 bears on the setting down of the cup, not on the manner of pouring: setting it on the table with her left hand, or setting it on the pillow or on the cushion — and there, even with her right hand. The מזיגה itself, pouring the cup in his presence, remains forbidden.

Seif 13 — Reciprocity: he too does not pour or send her a cup

כשם שאסורה למזוג לו כך הוא אסור למזוג לה ולא עוד אלא אפילו לשלוח לה כוס של יין אסור לא שנא כוס של ברכה לא שנא כוס אחר אם הוא מיוחד לה אבל אם שותים הם מאותו הכוס ושתית איהי אבתרייהו לית לן בה:
Just as she does not pour for him (seif 10), he too does not pour for her. Moreover: he does not send her a cup of wine designated for her (מיוחד לה) — whether the cup of blessing (כוס של ברכה) or another. But if they are drinking from that same cup and she drinks after them (ושתית איהי אבתרייהו), there is nothing wrong with it.
The harchaka of the cup is reciprocal and symmetric: neither does she pour for him, nor he for her; and sending a cup designated for her is likewise an act of closeness, hence set aside. A marker (a third party, decanting) lifts the prohibition.

Seif 14 — The harchakot apply in both נדה and ליבון

כל אלו ההרחקות צריך להרחיק בין בימי נדותה בין בימי ליבונה שהם כל ימי ספירתה ואין חלוק בכל אלו בין רואה ממש למוצאת כתם: הגה וי"א דאין להחמיר בימי ליבונה בענין איסור אכילה עמה בקערה (הגה במרדכי בשם ראבי"ה) וכן נוהגין להקל בזה ויש להחמיר:
All these harchakot must be kept both in her days of niddah and in her days of ליבון — that is, all the days of her counting (the 7 "clean" days, נקיים). And there is no difference in any of these between one who actually sees and one who finds a stain (רואה / כתם). Gloss of the Rama: some hold that one need not be strict in the days of ליבון regarding the prohibition of eating with her from a single bowl — and so is the lenient custom in this, but it is proper to be stringent (ויש להחמיר).
נדה / ליבון — The two periods. נדה: the days of the bleeding, until it ends. ליבון ("whitening"): the 7 "clean" days (נקיים) she then counts before the mikveh. The harchakot apply to both; the Rama notes only a customary leniency in ליבון (the shared bowl).

Seif 15 — If he is ill and has no one else

אם הוא חולה ואין לו מי שישמשנו זולתה מותרת לשמשו רק שתזהר ביותר שתוכל להזהר מהרחצת פניו ידיו ורגליו והצעת המטה בפניו:
If he is ill and has no one but her to serve him, she is permitted to serve him — taking the greatest possible care to avoid washing his face, hands and feet and making the bed in his presence.

Seif 16 — If she is ill and niddah

אשה חולה והיא נדה אסור לבעלה ליגע בה כדי לשמשה כגון להקימה ולהשכיבה ולסמכה (וי"א דאם אין לה מי שישמשנה מותר בכל (הגהות ש"ד והגהות מרדכי פ"ק דשבת בשם הר"מ) וכן נוהגין אם צריכה הרבה לכך):
A woman who is ill and niddah: it is forbidden for her husband to touch her in order to serve her — for example to raise her, lay her down, or support her. Gloss of the Rama: some say that if she has no one else to serve her, everything is permitted — and so is the custom if she greatly needs it.

Seif 17 — The husband-physician and the pulse

אם בעלה רופא אסור למשש לה הדפק: הגה ולפי מה שכתבתי דנוהגין היתר אם צריכה אליו דמשמש לה כ"ש דמותר למשש לה הדפק אם אין רופא אחר וצריכה אליו ויש סכנה בחליה (כך דקדק הב"י מלשון הרמב"ן סי' קכ"ז) ועיין בא"ח סימן פ"ח אם מותר לנדה ליכנס לבית הכנסת ולהתפלל:
If her husband is a physician, he is forbidden to take her pulse (למשש לה הדופק). Gloss of the Rama: but according to what was stated (that we tolerate his serving her when she needs it), all the more may he take her pulse if there is no other physician, she needs him, and there is danger (סכנה) in her illness. And see Orach Chaim, Siman 88 — whether a niddah may enter the synagogue and pray there (אם מותר לנדה ליכנס לבית הכנסת ולהתפלל).
The hierarchy of illness leniencies: he is ill → she may serve him, avoiding the acts of affection (seif 15). She is ill and niddah → he does not touch her, except out of real need and the absence of other help (seif 16). The husband-physician → no taking of the pulse, except in danger and the absence of another physician (seif 17). At each tier, the graver the need, the greater the leniency — but it is the Rav (and the physician) who decide the actual case.

2. Context — what the harchakot are

Simanim 183 to 194 laid the foundations of the laws of niddah: when a woman becomes niddah, stains (כתמים), the veset, the counting of the 7 days and immersion. Siman 195 draws the practical consequence for the couple's life: as long as she has not immersed, which everyday acts must be set aside? The answer is the הרחקות — a set of "separations" that protect the sanctity of the home (סייג לעריות, a "fence" around the prohibition) and sustain, through the absence, the marital bond.

The six families of harchakot

Family Seifim The essential
The principle and contact 1-2 Separate until immersion; not touching nor passing an object
The table and drinking 3-4, 13 A marker (היכר) at the table; not her leftover cup; pouring/sending
The bed and sitting 5-6 Separate beds; not sitting on her bed, nor on a movable bench on which she is seated
Gaze, garments, adornment 7-9 Not gazing at covered places; designated garments; adornment permitted
The services of affection 10-12 Pouring the cup, making the bed, pouring the washing water — forbidden
Two periods and illness 14-17 נדה and ליבון; exceptions when either spouse is ill
The transversal idea: the harchaka does not punish — it protects. By creating a visible distance (not touching, a marker at the table, separate beds), it recalls at every moment the status of niddah, sets aside levity and seduction, and prepares the reunion after immersion. These are rules of life, to be embodied with delicacy.

3. The key concepts of this siman

To understand Siman 195, one must master a small vocabulary that describes the nature of the separations and their logic.

הרחקה (pl. הרחקות) — "Distancing / separation": the set of everyday acts the couple sets aside as long as the woman is niddah. These are seyagim (fences) meant to protect the underlying prohibition.
לפרוש — "To separate": the duty, set in seif 1, to keep one's distance from one's wife until she counts and immerses (עד שתספור ותטבול). As long as she has not immersed, she remains niddah — however much time has passed.
נגיעה — "Contact": any touch, even with the little finger, is set aside (seif 2). The harchaka extends to passing objects from hand to hand, even by throwing.
היכר / שינוי — "The marker / the change": a visible sign (bread or a jug between the bowls, distinct tablecloths, setting the cup down with the left hand) that marks the separation and serves as a reminder — at the table, with the cup, in service.
דרך חבה — "The manner of affection": the criterion distinguishing the forbidden services (pouring the cup, spreading the sheets, pouring the washing water) from mere טורח ("labor," like arranging the cushions), which remains permitted.
נדה / ליבון — The two periods: נדה, the days of the bleeding; ליבון, the 7 "clean" days (נקיים) counted before the mikveh. The harchakot apply to both, with a customary leniency (Rama) on the shared bowl in ליבון.
Two underlying notions. טבילה — the immersion in the mikveh that lifts the status of niddah: it, and not time nor the end of the bleeding, closes the period. And סכנה — "danger": once an illness involves a risk to life, the harchakot are eased (seifim 15-17), under the guidance of the Rav and the physician.

4. The table of the harchakot — forbidden / permitted

The essence of the siman fits into one table. For each act, we look at whether it is forbidden, permitted, or permitted by means of a marker (היכר).

Act Status Seif
Touching her, even with the little finger 🔴 Forbidden 2
Passing an object hand to hand (even thrown) 🔴 Forbidden 2
Eating at the same table 🟡 Permitted with a היכר 3
Drinking what is left in her cup 🔴 Forbidden (unless third party / decanted) 4
Sleeping in the same bed / adjoining beds 🔴 Forbidden 5-6
Gazing at her covered places 🔴 Forbidden (uncovered: permitted) 7
Adorning herself (so as not to be repulsive) 🟢 Permitted "with difficulty" 9
Pouring his cup / making his bed / pouring washing water 🔴 Forbidden (דרך חבה) 10-12
Arranging the cushions / serving in his absence 🟢 Permitted (טורח) 11
Serving him when ill, with no other help 🟢 Permitted (avoiding affection) 15
The logic in one sentence: forbidden is what brings close or expresses affection (touching, sharing the cup, the bed, the services of חבה); permitted is what is mere labor or done in his absence; and a marker (היכר) can turn an act of closeness into a neutral one.

5. The Shach and the Taz — the great commentators

In Yoreh De'ah, the Shulchan Aruch is never read alone. Two great commentaries accompany it on every page and structure the practical study: the Shach and the Taz. These are the nossei kelim of reference in Yoreh De'ah (there is no Mishna Berurah here, which comments only on Orach Chaim). On the laws of niddah, dedicated works such as the Sidrei Tahara and the Chochmat Adam are added to them.

The Shach (ש״ך) — an abbreviation of שפתי כהן, Siftei Kohen, by Rabbi Shabtai haCohen (Lithuania, 17th century). It is the reference commentary on Yoreh De'ah, of great analytical depth. On our siman, it clarifies the nature of the harchakot and supplements with the poskim of niddah.
The Taz (ט״ז) — an abbreviation of טורי זהב, Turei Zahav, by Rabbi David haLevi Segal (Poland, 17th century). Often in dialogue — and sometimes in disagreement — with the Shach. He illuminates contact, the marker at the table, the bed, the services, ליבון and illness.

The Pitchei Teshuva, a mine for this siman

Besides the Shach and the Taz, the Pitchei Teshuva (Rabbi Avraham Tsvi Hirsch Eisenstadt, 19th century) gathers here the responsa of the Acharonim on very concrete cases: passing an object or a baby, sleeping, the marker at the table, the sick, the physician. Through it, one accesses the rich practical literature of the siman.

One sees the method: the Shach and the Taz do not repeat the Mehaber — they explain the mechanism of each harchaka (what makes an act a דרך חבה? what does the היכר change?) and rule on the custom. This is exactly what is deepened at the Lamdan level, and applied at the Halakha lema'asse level with the contemporary poskim.

6. The gloss of the Rama (הגה)

The Rama (Rabbi Moshe Isserles) adds to the text of the Mehaber glosses that reflect Ashkenazi custom and refine the practice. Here are his most striking interventions in our siman.

On seif 1 — she remains niddah until immersion

Gloss of the Rama: ואפילו שהתה זמן ארוך ולא טבלה תמיד היא בנדתה עד שתטבול — "even if she has tarried a long time without immersing, she always remains niddah until she immerses." This is the anchor of the whole siman: only immersion lifts the status.

On seif 2 — even by throwing (זריקה)

Gloss of the Rama: וכן על ידי זריקה מידו לידה או להיפך אסור — "and likewise by throwing, from his hand to hers or the reverse, it is forbidden." The Rama extends the harchaka of contact to the passing of objects, down to the act of throwing.

On seifim 5-6 — the movable bench and the two adjoining beds

The Rama specifies that it is forbidden to sit on a long, movable bench (ספסל ארוך שמתנדדת) on which she is seated, and that even two beds that touch (שתי מטות נוגעות זו בזו) are forbidden. He also notes the view that permits if a third party interposes.

On seif 14 — the customary leniency in ליבון

Gloss of the Rama: ויש אומרים דאין להחמיר בימי ליבונה בענין איסור אכילה עמה בקערה… וכן נוהגין להקל — "some say not to be strict in the days of ליבון regarding the prohibition of eating together from a single bowl… and so is the lenient custom." This is one of the few distinctions between the two periods.

On seifim 16-17 — illness and the physician

The Rama tempers the stringency: if she is ill and has no one else, everything is permitted according to the custom if the need is great (seif 16); and if the husband is a physician, all the more may he take her pulse in case of danger and the absence of another physician (seif 17, which refers to Orach Chaim 88 for whether a niddah may enter the synagogue and pray there).
The Rama carefully distinguishes the base law (the Mehaber) from the lived practice: he closes the door on loopholes (throwing, adjoining beds) but keeps targeted leniencies (the bowl in ליבון, illness, danger). This is the whole balance of the harchakot.

7. The two periods — נדה and ליבון

Seif 14 — the hinge of the siman — sets out a rule simple to state but heavy in its consequences: the harchakot apply in both periods.

"כָּל אֵלּוּ הַהַרְחָקוֹת צָרִיךְ לְהַרְחִיק בֵּין בִּימֵי נִדּוּתָהּ בֵּין בִּימֵי לִבּוּנָהּ."
Two stages make up the period of distancing: And the Mehaber adds: no difference between one who actually sees (רואה) and one who only finds a stain (כתם) — the harchakot are the same.
Question Answer
Do the harchakot apply in ליבון? 🔴 Yes, as in נדה (seif 14)
Difference רואה / כתם? 🟢 None for the harchakot
The shared bowl in ליבון? 🟡 Lenient custom (Rama)
The נדה / ליבון division does not ease the separations: one distances oneself equally throughout, until immersion. The only customary nuance noted by the Rama concerns the shared bowl in ליבון — and even that is verified with a Rav or a moret kalla.

8. Modern practical cases

How do these rules take shape in life today? Here are four common situations illuminated by our siman. Each one closes with the same reference: the concrete decision belongs to the Rav or the moret kalla.

Case 1 — Daily life in niddah

Throughout the day, the couple takes care not to touch nor to pass objects directly from hand to hand (seif 2); at the table, a היכר is set up — a loaf, a carafe, distinct tablecloths (seif 3); they sleep in separate beds (seifim 5-6); and they do not pour drinks for one another (seifim 4, 10, 13). These gestures quickly become natural — but their proper implementation is learned from a Rav or a moret kalla.

Case 2 — Designated garments and adornment

Setting aside a few garments for the days of niddah (seif 8) helps both spouses remember the status, with modesty and without making it an ostentatious sign. At the same time, adornment remains permitted — "so as not to become repulsive" (seif 9): styling one's hair, wearing makeup, staying well-groomed for one's husband. The exact balance between the reminder and the embellishment is settled with a Rav or a moret kalla.

Case 3 — The two periods (נדה and 7 נקיים)

The harchakot accompany the entire period, from the first days of נדה until the end of the 7 "clean" days (נקיים), without a break (seif 14). The Rama notes a customary nuance in ליבון — the shared bowl — but it is a point of מנהג to be confirmed. To know precisely what changes, or not, between the two periods, one relies on a Rav or a moret kalla.

Case 4 — Illness

When a spouse is ill, the separations are eased in tiers: he is ill with no other help → she may serve him, avoiding the acts of affection (seif 15); she is ill and niddah → he does not touch her, except out of real need (seif 16); the husband-physician → no taking of the pulse, except in danger (סכנה) and the absence of another physician (seif 17). These situations, especially in case of danger, are decided case by case with the Rav — and the physician.
The thread running through the four cases: the harchakot are living rules, meant to be inhabited with delicacy, not merely recited. Before acting, one learns; in case of doubt — and always in case of illness or danger — one asks. The concrete decision always belongs to the Rav or the moret kalla.

9. Synthesis of Siman 195

The essence of Siman 195 in a few sentences:
  1. One must separate (לפרוש) until she counts and immerses; she remains niddah until she immerses; no levity, even in words (seif 1).
  2. One does not touch, even with the little finger, nor pass an object hand to hand, even thrown (seif 2).
  3. At the table, a marker (היכר) is needed; one does not drink the leftover of her cup; neither pours / sends a designated cup (seifim 3-4, 13).
  4. One does not sit on her bed, nor on a movable bench on which she is seated, and one sleeps in separate beds, even adjoining (seifim 5-6).
  5. One does not gaze at her covered places (seif 7); she sets aside garments of niddah (seif 8); adornment is permitted "with difficulty" (seif 9).
  6. She does everything, except three services of affection (דרך חבה): pouring his cup, making his bed in his presence, pouring the water for his washing (seifim 10-12).
  7. The harchakot apply in נדה and in ליבון (7 נקיים), with no difference רואה / כתם; customary leniency on the bowl in ליבון (seif 14).
  8. Exceptions of illness: he is ill → she serves him (without affection); she is ill → he does not touch her, except out of need; husband-physician → no pulse, except in danger (seifim 15-17).

Memory table

Act Status
Touching / passing an object 🔴 Forbidden (even thrown)
Eating at the same table 🟡 Permitted with a היכר
The leftover of her cup 🔴 Forbidden (unless third party / decanted)
Same bed / adjoining beds 🔴 Forbidden
Adorning herself for her husband 🟢 Permitted ("with difficulty")
Pouring the cup / making the bed / pouring water 🔴 Forbidden (דרך חבה)
The harchakot in ליבון 🔴 Yes (except the bowl: lenient custom)
Serving an ill spouse (with no other help) 🟢 Permitted (per the tier) — see the Rav

Comprehension questions

Check your understanding:
  1. What lifts the status of niddah (seif 1) — time, the end of the bleeding, or immersion (טבילה)?
  2. Does the prohibition of נגיעה extend to passing an object? And to throwing (seif 2)?
  3. What is a היכר at the table? Give two examples (seif 3).
  4. May one drink the leftover of her cup? What lifts the prohibition (seif 4)?
  5. Why are separate beds not enough if they touch (seifim 5-6)?
  6. Reconcile seif 8 (designated garments) with seif 9 (permitted adornment). What does each seek?
  7. What is דרך חבה? Which three services are forbidden, and what remains permitted (seifim 10-12)?
  8. Do the harchakot differ between נדה and ליבון? What is the only customary nuance (seif 14)?
  9. Describe the hierarchy of leniencies in illness (he / she / physician), seifim 15-17.
  10. In which cases does סכנה change matters? To whom does the final decision belong?

To go further

If you wish to deepen this siman:
The sources for this level can be consulted on Sefaria:
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DAAT · הרב יוסף חיים סממה
תלמיד חכם · מעביר שיעורים בהלכה ובחסידות
יורה דעה · סימן קצ״ה · Level 1 — Introduction
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