The Siman — Choulhan Aroukh, Orach Chaim siman ק״ע (כ״ב סעיפים)
אין משיחין בסעודה שמא יקדים קנה לושט ; אין מסתכלין בפני האוכל ולא במנתו שלא לביישו ; הנכנס לבית כל מה שיאמר לו בעל הבית יעשה ; לא יהא אדם קפדן בסעודתו ; לא יאכל אדם פרוסה כביצה ואם אכל הרי זה גרגרן ; לא ישתה כוסו בבת אחת ; לא יאכל שום או בצל מראשו אלא מעליו ; לא ישתה מהכוס ויתן לחבירו מפני סכנת נפשות ; אורחים אינם רשאים ליטול מלפניהם וליתן לבנו או לעבדו של בעל הבית אלא אם כן נטלו רשות ; השמש שהיה משמש על שנים הרי זה אוכל עמהם.
And it contains twenty-two seifim (כ״ב סעיפים): one does not chat while eating (אין משיחין בסעודה) שמא יקדים קנה לושט — lest the food enter the windpipe instead of the esophagus ; one does not stare at the person eating nor at his portion, שלא לביישו — so as not to embarrass him ; at a host's home, one does whatever the host says ; one is not irritable (קפדן) at his meal ; one does not eat a piece as big as an egg, otherwise he is a glutton (גרגרן) ; one does not drink his cup בבת אחת — in a single gulp ; one does not eat garlic or onion from its head but from its leaves ; one does not drink from the cup and hand it to his fellow, מפני סכנת נפשות — because of danger ; guests may not give anything to the host's son or servant without permission ; and the attendant (השמש) who serves two eats with them.
The 4 levels of study — Siman ק״ע, כ״ב סעיפים
01
Available
רמת המתחיל
Level 1 — Beginner & Intermediate
Hebrew text of the כ״ב סעיפים with a fluent English translation. Pedagogical explanation: אין משיחין בסעודה (the danger of talking while eating) and the netila of one who steps out, אין מסתכלין בפני האוכל, obeying the בעל הבית, not being קפדן, the proper measure (גרגרן, רעבתן), סכנת נפשות and the laws of the שמש. Practical cases: talking at the table, the shared cup, the service.
02
Available
רמת הלמדן
Lamdan — Advanced Pilpul
In-depth pilpul: גדר איסור השיחה בסעודה and שמא יקדים קנה לושט ; the din of netila for one who steps out ; דרך ארץ and כבוד הבריות — אין מסתכלין בפני האוכל and לא יהא קפדן ; the definitions of גרגרן, רעבתן and מגסי הרוח ; סכנת נפשות and מיאוס in drinking ; the laws of the השמש and distribution. Beit Yossef, Tur, מג״א, ט״ז, Mishna Berura and Beour Halakha, Aroukh haShulchan, Kaf haChaim.
03
Available
חזרה וסיכום
Master Synthesis
Structured summary for review and memorization: the thread of the כ״ב סעיפים — אין משיחין, דרך ארץ, מדות and the laws of the שמש. Conduct le-maaseh in daily life, with a referral to the Rav and cf. siman 169 and 171.
04
🌉 Bridge page
דעת הרב
Daat HaRav (the Alter Rebbe)
This siman — דברי מוסר שינהג אדם בסעודה — was not written by the Admour HaZaken in his Choulhan Aroukh HaRav (some portions of Orach Chaim are absent from it). This bridge page reconstructs no text: it honestly directs the study to Levels 1-3 (the Mechaber) and to the Siddur of the Admour HaZaken.
05
Personalized
לימוד אישי
Study according to my Poskim
Rebuild this siman according to the Rabbanim YOU follow. Choose your Poskim (Rav Ovadia, the Admour HaZaken, the Rebbe, Ben Ish Chai, Mishna Berura, Rav Mordechai Eliyahu…) — Daat AI rebuilds the siman with their opinions, their reasoning, and their disagreements. If your Poskim do not address a point, the AI asks you before expanding.
The main themes of the Siman
אֵין מְשִׂיחִין בַּסְּעוּדָה
not talking while eating
אין משיחין בסעודה שמא יקדים קנה לושט ; ואפילו מי שנתעטש בסעודה אסור לומר לו אסותא (seif 1).
כְּבוֹד הַבְּרִיּוֹת וְדֶרֶךְ אֶרֶץ
respect and good manners
אין מסתכלין בפני האוכל ולא במנתו שלא לביישו ; לא יהא אדם קפדן בסעודתו (seifim 4, 6).
שֶׁלֹּא כְּגַרְגְּרָן
the proper measure at table
לא יאכל אדם פרוסה כביצה … לא ישתה כוסו בבת אחת ; שנים דרך ארץ שלשה הרי זה מגסי הרוח (seifim 7-8).
סַכָּנַת נְפָשׁוֹת וּמִיאוּס
danger and distaste
לא ישתה מהכוס ויתן לחבירו מפני סכנת נפשות ; קנח מקום נשיקת הפה משום מיאוס (seifim 16, 22).
Structure of the Siman — the כ״ב סעיפים
| Seif | Case | Din | Detail |
|---|---|---|---|
| א׳ | no talking while eating | ✦ שמא יקדים קנה לושט | One does not chat while eating (danger of choking) ; one who steps out to urinate washes one hand ; if he talked at length he washes both hands. |
| ב׳ | waiting at the dish | two must wait | Two wait for each other at the dish ; when one removes his hand to drink, his fellow stops eating ; but with three, the two do not stop for one. |
| ג׳ | a corner for the attendant | מאכל השמש | Each leaves a corner in the dish, which is the attendant's food ; but when he pours from the pot, none is left in it. |
| ד׳ | not staring | ✦ שלא לביישו | One does not stare at the person eating nor at his portion, so as not to embarrass him. |
| ה׳ | entering a home | as the host says | One who enters a home does whatever the host tells him. |
| ו׳ | not irritable | the trait of anger | A person should not be irritable at his meal. |
| ז׳ | a piece as big as an egg | ✦ glutton | One does not eat a piece as big as an egg ; if he did, he is a glutton. |
| ח׳ | drinking the cup | two is proper | One does not drink his cup in one gulp ; two is proper, three is arrogance ; but a very small cup may be drunk at once. |
| ט׳ | garlic and onion | רעבתן | One does not eat garlic or onion from its head but from its leaves ; nor hold food in one hand and tear from it with the other. |
| י׳ | biting a piece | onto the table | One does not bite a piece and put it back on the table. |
| י״א | two cups | like a glutton | One does not drink two cups at once during his meal and recite birkat hamazon, for it looks gluttonous. |
| י״ב | reaching out a hand | the elder first | Of two at the table, the elder extends his hand first ; one who reaches before his elder is a glutton. |
| י״ג | not "give me" | until they offer | One entering a home does not say "give me to eat" until they offer ; nor "come eat what you fed me," because of ribbit. |
| י״ד | slicing over the dish | wiping with a piece | One does not slice a piece over the dish, but may wipe the dish with a piece. |
| ט״ו | gathering crumbs | tastes differ | One does not gather crumbs onto the table ; nor bite a piece and give it before his fellow, for not everyone's temperament is alike. |
| ט״ז | the cup to a fellow | ✦ סכנת נפשות | One does not drink from the cup and hand it to his fellow, because of danger to life. |
| י״ז | holding the cup | until the attendant | One does not drink a cup and set it on the table, but holds it until the attendant comes and gives it to him. |
| י״ח | one's portion to the attendant | lest spoilage occur | One entering a meal does not take his portion and give it to the attendant, lest spoilage occur ; rather he takes it, sets it down, then gives it. |
| י״ט | the host's permission | took permission | Guests may not give to the host's son or servant unless they took permission from the host. |
| כ׳ | the refined of Jerusalem | who reclines with them | The refined of Jerusalem would not recline unless they knew who reclined with them — a disgrace for a talmid chacham beside an am ha'aretz. |
| כ״א | the attendant | of two, he eats | An attendant serving two eats with them even without permission ; serving three, he does not, unless given permission. |
| כ״ב | the remainder of the cup | ✦ מיאוס ובל תשחית | Wine left for your fellow — wipe where the mouth touched, out of distaste, and do not pour it out, because of bal tashchit. |
דרך ארץ בסעודה — the conduct in practice
| Case | Source | Conduct | Central idea |
|---|---|---|---|
| אין משיחין בסעודה | Mechaber · seif 1 | ✦ קנה לושט | One does not chat while eating: speech can send food into the windpipe — a real danger. |
| אין מסתכלין בפני האוכל | Mechaber · seif 4 | שלא לביישו | One does not stare at the person eating nor at his portion, so as not to embarrass him. |
| שלא כגרגרן | Mechaber · seifim 7-8 | measure & manners | Neither a piece as big as an egg nor a cup drunk at once: the table demands measure. |
| הכוס לחבירו | Mechaber · seif 16 | סכנת נפשות | One does not share the cup one drank from — danger and distaste. |
| דיני השמש | Mechaber · seifim 21-22 | permission & distaste | An attendant of two eats with them ; one wipes the wine left, out of regard for the other. |
Frequently asked questions — Siman ק״ע
May one talk during the meal according to Siman 170?
According to the Choulhan Aroukh, Orach Chaim 170:1, אין משיחין בסעודה שמא יקדים קנה לושט — one does not chat while eating, lest the food enter the windpipe (קנה) instead of the esophagus (ושט) and endanger him. The siman even adds that אסור לומר לו אסותא — one does not say "bless you" (אסותא) to someone who sneezes at the table, so as not to interrupt.
What does Siman 170 say about eating and drinking without excess?
According to the Choulhan Aroukh, Orach Chaim 170:7-8, לא יאכל אדם פרוסה כביצה ואם אכל הרי זה גרגרן — one does not eat a piece as big as an egg, otherwise he is a glutton ; לא ישתה כוסו בבת אחת — one does not drink his cup in a single gulp, and שנים דרך ארץ שלשה הרי זה מגסי הרוח — in two goes it is proper, in three it is arrogance.
Why does one not share his cup according to Siman 170?
According to the Choulhan Aroukh, Orach Chaim 170:16, לא ישתה מהכוס ויתן לחבירו מפני סכנת נפשות — one does not drink from the cup and then hand it to his fellow, because of danger to life. Likewise (170:22), of wine left for another, קנח מקום נשיקת הפה משום מיאוס — one wipes the spot where the mouth touched, out of distaste.