Siman 233 — halakha lema’asseh: a child’s vow, age by age (יורה דעה רל״ג)
יורה דעה · סימן רל״ג
עונת נדרים לזכר ולנקבה
עונת נדרים · מופלא הסמוך לאיש · בדיקה כל השנה · שתי שערות · חינוך הקטנים
⚖️ Halakha lema’asseh level · פסק
✦ ❖ ✦
What binds, what does not, and what is not a family matter
Subject: שולחן ערוך יורה דעה סימן רל״ג (1 seif) With the apparatus: ש״ך (ב) · באר היטב (א) · פתחי תשובה (א) Foundations: משנה נדה מ״ה ע״ב · רמב״ם הלכות נדרים פרק י״א · רמב״ם הלכות שבועות פרק י״ב · טור ובית יוסף יורה דעה רל״ג
Written by: הרב יוסף חיים סממה · DAAT
What this page covers
The three ages, and what they change in practice
The בדיקה: what is asked, who asks it, and how often
What a parent should do with a young child’s vow
After majority: the vow binds unconditionally
The girl under her father’s authority — what this siman does not treat
Four situations, and the question to ask in each
This level sets out the halakha as the Shakh, the Ba’er Hetev and the Pitḥei Teshuva give it on this siman. It does not replace a Rav. A note on the compartment: the Admur HaZaken wrote no Shulḥan Arukh on Yoreh De’ah. This level is therefore a level of psak, not a “Daat HaRav”; not one of its lines rests on a text that does not exist.
1. The three ages, and what they change in practice
The first thing to do, faced with a child’s vow, is to place the age. Nothing else can be decided before that.
« וקודם שיש י״ב לזכר וי״א לנקיבה אפילו יודעים לשם מי נודרים אינו נדר » (שו״ע יו״ד רל״ג:א)
« קטן בן י״ב שנה ויום אחד וקטנה בת י״א שנה ויום אחד אם יודעים לשם מי נדרו ונשבעו נדריהם נדר ושבועתם שבועה » (שו״ע יו״ד רל״ג:א)
« ומי״ג ויום אחד ואילך לזכר ומי״ב ויום אחד לנקיבה אע״פ שאין יודעים לשם מי נודרים נדריהם נדר » (שו״ע יו״ד רל״ג:א)
In practice.(1) A boy under twelve, a girl under eleven: there is no vow, and therefore nothing to release. Do not send a ten-year-old to a התרת נדרים. (2) A boy between twelve and thirteen, a girl between eleven and twelve: there may be a vow, and that is verified. (3) Beyond that: there is a vow, and the route of siman 228 is needed to undo it.
2. The בדיקה
What is asked — one thing only, and it is narrow: does he know in whose name he vowed. The Rambam makes it an act, not an impression:
A practical consequence, and a counter-intuitive one. A child established six months ago to have known is not thereby “certified discerning”: if he vows again, the process begins afresh. What is examined is not the child in general but his understanding of this vow. And the examination is not a family matter: it is a step taken before a Rav.
3. A young child’s vow, and what a parent should do with it
The vow does not bind. But the Rama addresses exactly the question the parent asks, and answers it in two stages:
« וגוערים בהם ומכין אותן שלא ילמדו לשונם בנדרים ושבועות » (רמ״א יו״ד רל״ג:א)
« ואם הוא דבר קטן וקל ואין בו עינוי נפש אומרים להם שיעמדו בנדרם ושבועתם כדי שלא ירגילו עצמם בזה » (רמ״א יו״ד רל״ג:א)
His source likewise distinguishes two cases, and is worth reading:
« מַכֶּה אוֹתוֹ אָבִיו אוֹ רַבּוֹ וְגוֹעֵר בּוֹ וּמַרְאִין לוֹ שֶׁהֻתְּרָה שְׁבוּעָתוֹ כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה רָגִיל לְהָקֵל רֹאשׁ בִּשְׁבוּעוֹת » (רמב״ם הלכות שבועות פרק י״ב הלכה ז׳)
The practical line, and its limit. If the child promised something light — to tidy up, to return an object, to give a coin — he is told to keep his word, and that is ḥinukh. If the matter involves a real deprivation — fasting, abstaining from a food for a long time — the rule reverses: the Rambam says that they show him that his oath has been released. The limit is written in the Rama: אין בו עינוי נפש. It is not quantified, and judging it belongs to a Rav — all the more so with a child.
And the purpose must be kept in view, which the Rambam states immediately afterwards and the Rama did not carry over:
« צָרִיךְ לְהִזָּהֵר בַּקְּטַנִּים הַרְבֵּה וּלְלַמֵּד לְשׁוֹנָם דִּבְרֵי אֱמֶת בְּלֹא שְׁבוּעָה כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיוּ רְגִילִים לְהִשָּׁבַע תָּמִיד » (רמב״ם הלכות שבועות פרק י״ב הלכה ח׳)
The aim is not to get a child to keep his vows: it is that he stop making them. A parent who multiplies occasions of “solemnly keeping one’s word” is working against the purpose of the very text he thinks he is applying.
4. After majority
« ומי״ג ויום אחד ואילך לזכר ומי״ב ויום אחד לנקיבה אע״פ שאין יודעים לשם מי נודרים נדריהם נדר » (שו״ע יו״ד רל״ג:א)
« ומי״ג ויום א׳ ואילך כו׳. אע״פ שלא הביאו ב׳ שערות » (ש״ך יו״ד רל״ג ס״ק ב)
Two things not to confuse.One: after thirteen years and a day (twelve for a girl), the vow binds even if the child did not know in whose name he was vowing — so an oath uttered lightly binds just as much. Two: the physical signs of majority are not required, and the Shakh says so expressly. An adolescent who swore in anger is bound, and a proper release is needed.
5. What this siman does not treat
Our siman says when a child’s vow takes effect. It says nothing about what can undo it by a route other than release — and such a route exists for a girl under her father’s authority. The Rambam recalls it in the same chapter:
To retain. For a girl, the question “did her vow take effect?” and the question “may her father annul it?” are two distinct questions, and the second belongs entirely to siman 234. Never infer the second from the first. And annulment by the father is subject to a strict time condition — the day he hears it — which makes it, in practice, an urgent question.
6. Four situations
“My nine-year-old swore he would never speak to his brother again.” There is no vow, and nothing to release. What remains is educational — and this case is plainly not a דבר קטן וקל, so the Rama’s clause about keeping one’s word does not apply to it.
“My eleven-and-a-half-year-old daughter vowed to give away all her pocket money.” She is in the year of examination. There may be a vow. Do not decide alone: this is exactly the case that goes before a Rav, who will establish whether she knew in whose name she vowed — and that finding will hold only for that vow.
“My son was examined in Tishrei and vowed again at Pesaḥ.” The Shakh is explicit: he must be re-examined. The first finding does not carry over.
“My son of thirteen years and two months swore in a moment of anger.” He is of age for the purposes of this siman. The oath binds, even if he was not attending to his words, and even without the physical signs. A proper release is needed — see siman 228, and siman 230 on the conditions under which one asks for it.
What this level does not say. It does not say how the release is performed — siman 228. It does not say whether one should ask for it — siman 230. It does not say who is qualified to release — siman 231. And it does not say what a father or a husband may annul — siman 234.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ DAAT · הרב יוסף חיים סממה
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